Black Sheep of the World, Unite!
“Maybe I should be more like that,” I thought, looking over at the most popular girl in the third grade.
We were playing kickball on the school lawn as part of phys. ed., and since there was no actual baseball diamond, three students had to stand in as the bases. When my team was in the outfield, I was “third base.” I had so much energy and light at that age. I remember jumping up and down in place as I kept the base.
I would jump straight up, bring my knees to my chest, and swing my arms around backwards over and over again. I was so happy to be outside in the sunshine, to be playing a game… to just be alive!
When my team went in for our turn to kick the ball, the other students set up bases. Karis, the petite, blonde, popular girl stood in for third base. Where I had vacated.
As she held the base, she stood there. Just… Stood there. Sometimes she’d bend over, pick up a blade of grass and tear it into pieces… Letting the tiny green pieces fall back onto the lawn. Otherwise, she was still.
As I watched her, I became aware of the difference between the way I held the base and the way the popular girl did.
From as far back as I can remember, I never fit in anywhere. I had friends, but when it came to groups of people my age, I couldn’t crack the code to acceptance. I always floated around the edges of other friendships… Wondering what made me so different.
Looking at Karis, I saw the difference laid out for all to see under the afternoon sun. She was quiet, well-behaved. I was energetic, effervescent, and weird. Unlike anyone else.
I felt ashamed of the difference. Like I was wrong to be who I was, and Karis was somehow “right.”
The next time I was in the outfield standing in for third base, I made a conscious effort to stand still. I picked up blades of grass and tore them apart. I feigned boredom and disinterest because I thought that’s what was cool. I thought that attitude would make me cool.
That day, I dimmed my own light, so I could be like the others.
And what kills me now is that no one said anything to me about how I had acted. No one shamed me for my youthful exuberance. But I absorbed from our culture that quiet “good girls” are more accepted than the weird, offbeat, or different girls.
I did it to myself. And it made me miserable for years and years.
Because you see, I still didn’t fit in anywhere. Dimming my light didn’t make me popular or change my fringe dwelling. Trying to fit in with the majority didn’t make me happier or more comfortable in my skin. It just made me feel smaller, and wrong, and… less.
I, obviously, have never forgotten that moment.
But now that I’m in my forties, I look back at that little girl with the wild curly hair, dimming her own light to be “right,” and I say, “Fuck that.”
Not no more.
Even though it’s been nearly 4 decades since that moment, I’m taking back my light. I’m embracing my unique self. For I know now that I (and you) am a unique expression of the divine. And I plan to behave in a way that expresses that divinity, without fear or shame.
And I would love for you to join me.
Together we can support each other in being who we are at our core. We can work to become the best, most compassionate and authentic expressions of our soul. We will nurture that spark of divinity that lives within you and me.
And our authenticity and kindness to ourselves and others will radiate out into the world to inspire others to step out from the shadows.
The early 2000s was the rise of the tech nerd. Now it’s the time of the misfits.
Black sheep of the world, unite!
7 Foxes Copy & Email Marketing Strategy 